Thursday, May 11, 2017

The Green Owl Cafe

The Green Owl Café
1970 Atwood Avenue, Madison, WI 53704
QISA (4, 4, 3.5, 3.5), $10-13.50, Vegetarian (Vegan-friendly)

I was pretty surprised to find out that Madison, Wisconsin only has one all-vegetarian restaurant (not including it’s one vegan coffee shop). Only one? What’s up with that? Isn’t this supposed to be a bastion of college town liberal elite in a purplish swing state? Where are the hordes of college professors demanding vegan meatballs? Where are the ex-hippies hunting for the best kale slaw? Where do the small-town Midwest male students take their hot West Coast dates to prove their liberal credentials, and thereby show their undying devotion? Only one restaurant?

To be fair, I discovered that my assumptions of Madison’s demographics were a bit overblown. Despite being a progressive college town, Madison is not quite as liberal as you might think. Ironically, the University of Wisconsin is much more politically centric than the rest of the town itself. Furthermore, maybe it is not too surprising to have a dearth of vegetarian restaurants in a state whose favorite vegetable is beer-battered cheese curds.

Luckily, the mantle of sole vegetarian restaurant in Madison is borne by The Green Owl Café, a pretty decent near-vegan restaurant whose focus dances between ECLECTIC and COMFORT.

I entered the restaurant to be greeted by a seemingly standard hipster food emporium with unobtrusive green and yellow décor and an eclectic supply of photographs and posters. On one wall I found a map of the Madison Underground. On another, facing me, were black and white head shot photos of goats and ducks from the Heartland Farm Sanctuary, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping homeless farm animals in Wisconsin. Actually, I found the duck’s glamor shot a bit unsettling since he was staring at me throughout my meal, as if to say, “I’m watching you. Don’t you even THINK about backsliding, you carnivore-wannabe you!”

The clientele was a little less hipster-standard. Though most of the patrons were in their 20s and 30s, they looked like standard college students and business-casual professionals. Only the waitresses sported multiple tattoos and piercings.

I visited the restaurant on two separate occasions which afforded me the opportunity to try an ample number of dishes. On my first visit, I ordered the jambalaya and corn bread which came with a side of steamed kale. The jambalaya was a smoky mix of beans, grains, tomato, onion, celery, and big chunks of tempeh. It was moderately spicy with a wonderful flavor and texture. The cornbread had a nice roasted corn flavor, but in truth was a little too dry. The steamed kale was cooked just enough to retain a small amount of crunch, and its mild flavor was a perfect balance for the spicy stew. I also ordered a separate side of kale chips, just to try them, which were pleasantly crunchy, tasting mildly of olive oil, and just salty and savory enough to cut the bitterness of the kale. The ginger hibiscus kombucha had a faint ginger flavor, but since I am not an experienced kombucha aficionado, I am probably not the best judge of its character.

On my second trip, I ordered the vegan seitan schnitzel with porcini mushroom sauce, which came with roasted potatoes and steamed broccoli. The breaded schnitzel was very nice, mildly chewy but not tough. The mushroom sauce was chunky and creamy with a winey background flavor that gave it terrific complexity and body. Unfortunately, the potatoes were were too overdone, making them tough on the outside. The broccoli, although steamed perfectly to fork-tenderness, was pretty bland. I also ordered a Barrett’s Ginger Beer, which was reasonably good but not noticeably fantastic. And since I am most definitely an aficionado of ginger beer, you can take that to the bank.

I would definitely recommend The Green Owl, but I give its quality score a conditional 4. What they do well, they do very well. What they don’t do well, they do mediocrely. And as the only vegan game in town, they might feel comfortable to sit on their laurels and polish their many local awards.

However, one of these days, an enterprising entrepreneur from San Francisco, New York, Boulder, or even Ann Arbor (which has at least five vegetarian restaurants thank you very much) is going to recognize this town as a land of opportunity and set up a competing vegetarian establishment. Some Green Carpetbagger will stroll in with his or her own seitan banh mi or barbecue tofu or tempeh jambalaya and raise the expectations and quality of vegan fare in Madison. On that day, advertising will get competitive, loyalties will be tested, and the market price of kale will shoot through the roof. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I can’t wait.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Psychedelic Healing Shack

Psychedelic Healing Shack
18700 Woodward (S. of 7 Mile), Detroit, MI
QISA (3.5, 3.5, 3.5, 3.5), $7-12, Vegetarian

There is so much to describe about the Psychedelic Healing Shack and Vegetarian Café that I honestly don’t know where to begin. I have facts to relay, experiences to share, opinions to opine, colors to comment on, and, and…perhaps it would be better to remove all emotion and simply document my evening.

I entered the establishment at night so unfortunately I could not experience the full effect of the colorful hippie paint job covering the entire restaurant. Please note that “hippie paint job” is not an opinion. The proprietors describe themselves as hippies, so I am not making a judgement here, good or bad. But I digress.

I entered the colorful establishment, walking past the log bench, pond, rock garden, and tree house. I stopped at the Goddess Herb Shop in the center of the building until a nice lady, who first asked if I was there to see Dr. Bob, pointed me to the restaurant to the right. The small cafe comprised a single table, a bar next to the kitchen, a piano, a set of hand drums, and a guitar. Since the lone table was occupied by a college-age couple, I sat down at the bar and selected one of the paper menus. These menus, I should note, were printed upside down on the inside, so I immediately had to turn the entire thing over after opening it. After perusing the selections, I opted for the Namaste Nachos and the Euphoric Cacao Smoothie. Again, these are not judgements. These are actual menu items.

The young slightly scruffy Caucasian chef with medium-long hair stepped to the bar to take my order. He disappeared again to make the nachos.

A shabby-looking, late middle-aged African-American man named “Freddie” (not his real name), with missing front teeth and many layers of pre-owned winter clothing, ambled across the room mumbling to himself. Freddie was greeted by name by the chef and was told that Chuck (possibly his real name, I can’t actually remember) would be here soon to take him home. Freddie wandered behind the bar, muttering loudly about the chef (who he obviously trusted), about music, about Chuck (wherever he was), about the floor, about food, about straws, about well, at a certain point I found it both impolite to listen and impossible to understand him.

Dr. Bob (Dr. Robert Pizzimenti), who owns the entire establishment, came over to say hello and shake my hand. Dr. Bob is a chiropractor who also sells medicinal herbs, serves organic food, and hosts musical events; all part of the healing process. Dr. Bob made sure I knew about their two types of bean soups and lectured me a bit about the healing power of food. He also mentioned that he was running for mayor of Detroit. Dr. Bob left to go take care of something in another part of the building.

The chef stepped out from the kitchen to go find more tortilla chips. The chef came back.

Freddie then came out from the bar and plucked out a tune on the piano. He then picked up the guitar and played something slightly bluesy and almost music.

The chef brought me out my nachos and then went back into the kitchen to start making my smoothie. I casually noticed that the chalkboard menu included “vegatable soup” and “lentel soup.”

A quartet of college kids (four attractive women and one obviously friend-zoned male) came out from a back room and took their place at the table. The friend-zoned male picked up the guitar and played a pretty melody. Freddie ambled over to greet them. One of the pretty blondes mentioned that it was her birthday. Freddie smiled a toothless grin and gave her a big hug. He then proceeded to give the other pretty blond a hug. The aforementioned Chuck came in to the restaurant and told Freddie it was time to go home. Chuck, a self-described hippie who was seemingly stamped from the same mold as David Cross and Robert Picardo, sized me up at the bar, asked why I was there, and then commented on my white Garmin Vivofit 3 which he had initially mistaken for a hospital band. I realized that he was simply trying to figure out how many people he was driving home that evening.

The chef brought out my smoothie. Crosby, Stills, and Nash were playing on the loudspeaker.

Chuck sent Freddie to the back room to wait for him and then apologized to the college kids. “Freddie has a problem with drinking. But then we all have problems, right?” Chuck then proceeded to take on the role as hippie guru, asking the kids what drugs they were into these days, dropping bits of wisdom like, “you know what the new high is these days? Sobriety!”, and comparing notes with the kids on the effects of recreational Adderall.

Freddie came back into the room, walked behind the bar, and proceeded to take things in and out of containers, all while carrying on a barely audible, but clearly intentional dialog to himself. Chuck continued to lecture the kids. I ate my nachos and drank my smoothie.

Dr. Bob came back from his chiropractic office on the other side of the building to help serve food, chat with the kids, and encourage Chuck to take Freddie home. Chuck then came over to me to have a more amiable, less suspicious conversation about where I was from, how I found the place, and what were the origins of my surname. The Millenials jumped into to help him guess. “Polish,” said one girl. “Irish,” said the birthday girl. “German,” said the brunette female. “My friend’s name is also Winicur,” the birthday girl mentioned. “And she is from…” I prompted. There were a full 3 milliseconds of silence. “Russian,” I finally handed them. “Zev,” I told them, “is a Hebrew name.” The kids went back to their food and standard Millennial banter while Chuck told me all about his Chasidic friend who could party like the best of them.

And then I blinked and Chuck, Freddie, the Millennials, and Dr. Bob disappeared. I paid the Chef and left. That was my evening.

The food and smoothie were quite decent, although not terribly exotic or creatively blended. The nachos were tasty and piled high, a mix of chips, black bean chili, cheese, lettuce, onions, and a hot sauce that tasted suspiciously like Taco Bell’s packet sauce. The smoothie, made from almond milk, banana, and cacao powder, was thick and chocolately like a Wendy’s Frosty, just without the carrageenan, fat, or bourgeois commercialism aftertaste.

Will I come back? Most definitely. How often am I personally greeted by the owner of the establishment? How often do I get to hear a hippie engineer lecture on drugs, travel, and changing the world? How often do I get a dramatic soliloquy from an inebriated transient in the safe, controlled confines of a kitchen?

However, I understand if the Psychedelic Healing Shack is just not your bag. A groovy righteous establishment like this is probably too fab for you squares. I’m sure there’s a McDonald’s down the street somewhere.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Greenspace Cafe

Greenspace Cafe
215 West Nine Mile Road, Ferndale, MI 48220
QISA (4, 4, 4, 4), $13-20, Vegan

While looking for a new vegetarian restaurant to patronize in the Detroit Metro area, I came upon Greenspace Cafe, a fancy, vegan, kosher restaurant and bar along the fashionable Nine Mile Road in downtown Ferndale, just north of Detroit proper. The restaurant was started by Dr. Joel Kahn, a “plant-based cardiologist who combines the best of Western and complementary therapies for total healing.” Kahn, who was voted “Sexiest Male Vegan Over 50 by PeTA,” has created a plant-based restaurant and bar “inspired by health, as well as global culinary traditions and Detroit’s exciting artisan food culture.” His restaurant focuses on subtle flavors, textural variety, and fresh ingredients. The mixed drinks incorporate the therapeutic benefits of various fruits and botanicals and uses raw organic juices to become healthier versions of their standard form.

There was no way in Hell I was missing out on this one.

With its wooden Jenga block art motif and slightly too loud music, the restaurant was clearly going for a trendy vibe to wrap around its healthy vegan focus. However, the wait staff were very friendly, and the clientele included everyone from swanky 20-somethings, to middle-aged men and women in business suits, to elderly refugees from old Jewish diners. I felt perfectly at home.

I started with an Autumn’s Cup, a cocktail of cardamom birch bark infused rum, Saskatoon jam, fresh lime, orange bitters, and a wedge of blood orange. Although the drink started on the palate like a standard citrusy cocktail, it had a complexity that made you sit and think while exotic flavors danced at the borders of your subconscious. I felt all sorts of sophisticated.

I then began my meal with a cup of red lentil shorba, a North African stew with a dollop of green chermoula in the center that provided a sharp tangy contrast to the mild, comforting soup. The entire dish was artfully decorated by a swirl of cashew labneh on the top. And now, thanks to Wikipedia, I know that chermoula is a lemony marinade used in Tunisian and Moroccan cooking. Shorba is a type of stew found in the Balkans, North Africa, Eastern Europe, Central Asia, South Asia, and the Middle East. And labneh is a strained yoghurt cheese. I felt all kinds of cosmopolitan with my new found worldly knowledge.

Finally, I got to my main course, a Chiapas Bowl, which was an esthetically rendered mix of seasoned black beans, chips, greens, quinoa, corn, and tofu, each residing in its own sector. The dish was a work of art unto itself. Although it was marked “spicy” on the menu, it wasn’t really. Rather, the flavors were subtle, focusing more on the inherit flavors of each ingredient, brought out through gentle cooking. “Oh,” I found myself saying, “That’s what quinoa is supposed to taste like.” The tofu, which was a local organic Michigan product called Panda Brand, was lightly marinated and baked, giving it a strong texture but mild flavor.

For dessert, I had a piece of turtle cheesecake. The cheesecake was a little small for its $8.00 cost, but considering how full I already was, it was the perfect denouement to the meal. The cheesecake had a slightly yoghurty tang that seems to be typical of vegan cheesecakes, but it had a ribbon of chocolate throughout, and it was covered with chocolate and caramel sauces that upped the decadence factor. The crust was a chocolate coconut crust, which was a different take on the standard crumb crust, but very effective and very delicious.

The restaurant is certified kosher by Kosher Michigan, which makes it the perfect place to take your Jewish vegan date. And the prices are quite reasonable for this type of restaurant, which means you can impress your date without wiping out your bank account. In fact, men, I would recommend you target Jewish vegan women and put Greenspace Cafe in your arsenal of romantic moves. It will show your woman that you are a self-confident, sophisticated, worldly, eco-conscious, and yet surprisingly physically fit suitor. Just pray that Dr. Joel Kahn is not there that night. I mean, really. Nobody needs that kind of competition.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016


6207 N. Milwaukee Avenue, Chicago, IL 60646
QISA (4, 3.5, 3.5, 4), $10-12, Vegan

So much on my mind. Too much on my mind. I am so tired. I had a long drive to Chicago this morning and another a long drive ahead of me. Just had an unpleasant meeting. And I hate my health insurance. And it’s cold outside. What should I do? Wait, what is Amitabul? Vegan Korean cuisine?

Well, the restaurant looks promising. Inside it’s all fancy tables and Asian artwork and calligraphic prints and meditative music. It sounds like a Buddhist monastery with waves crashing on the shore.

What’s that sign on the wall?

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened, happiness never decreases by being shared – Buddha

OK, maybe I can spare a little time.

I can not believe how frosty that business meeting became. Trying to ameliorate a doctor who was angry at my company and barely holding it together with me? Not something I want to repeat any time soon.

Maybe I will start with a cup of warm date tea. Oh, this tea is fantastic! This fermented date tea tastes just like sweet dates with a very mild tang. It is incredibly warm and comforting.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned – Buddha

I can’t believe how cold it is already. I am not ready for winter. Not, not, not. I need a vacation. I need to go somewhere warm. I don’t know how I am going to make it through another snowy January.

What about this seaweed miso soup. Oh my! This generous bowl is a delicious miso broth with tofu, greens, and seaweed. It is moderately salty and makes me think of a warm day on the seaside. I can smell the salt in the air, hear the gulls and the waves, stretch out on the sand...

To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in battle - Buddha

What’s up with my health insurance? I can’t believe they think my provider is out of network. There are no similar providers in network. How are we going to pay for this?

Maybe I should eat the mushroom bi bim bop. Wow! The bowl is huge, and it’s a perfectly blended mix of slivered vegetables, Chinese mushrooms, and beans over brown rice with a wonderful peanut miso sauce. It’s so filling, so satisfying.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly – Buddha

I am so full, but I want to come back and try the seaweed mushroom soup or maybe the healing noodle soup. Maybe I can try the tofu young patties or another bi bim bop or one of their creative noodle dishes. With all of this, I can handle anything. Anything!

President Trump.

Maybe I had better take another sip of tea. Maybe another. Maybe one more...

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Marie Catrib's

Marie Catrib’s
1001-1003 Lake Drive SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49503
QISA (4, 4, 3.5, 3.5), $7-12, Vegetarian-Friendly

Marie Catrib’s is where the beautiful people eat. This is not the house of the wealth and well-dressed nor the movers and shakers of the Grand Rapids elite. No, this is the place where the actual beautiful people eat, the incredibly attractive college age men and women, the young families with photogenic children, and the occasional “normal-looking” middle-aged and elderly thrown in for good measure. Even the old man toddling his way past the bar looked stooped and creaky but not unattractive. This is the land of clean living.

Marie Catrib sounds like the name of a 18th century pirate queen, buT in fact she is the founder and owner of this experimental restaurant using, “a twist of Lebanese, a hit of Yooper and a yen for unique pastries.” I enjoyed the artwork on the walls which ranged from an impressionist painting of an 18th century woman pouring tea to a surrealistic painting of an airplane flying past planets to a lovely close-up photograph of Playmobile toy characters in an inner city setting. Obviously, the word has gone out about this restaurant because the place was hopping at lunchtime. I waited 20-30 minutes for a table for one. Upon arriving, I put my name on a yellow legal pad and waited along with the other hopefuls.

The restaurant is quite vegetarian friendly; the many creative vegetarian and vegan dishes offered are clearly mere afterthoughts to appease non-carnivorous patrons. I ordered the lentil quinoa burger, a side of Marie’s seasoned potatoes, and (because how could I not) a half pot of Turkish coffee. The burger had a pleasant chewiness and curry spice, and it was loaded with lettuce, curried vegenaise, and ginger-tomato chutney. The generous portion of seasoned potatoes were cut into large chunks, coated with a tangy, salty seasoning, and roasted. The accompanying pickle spear was just slightly under crisp for my taste, but it was moderately spicy which came as a pleasant surprise.

The Turkish coffee was one of the best I’ve ever had. It was strong, slightly sweet, and flavored with a touch of cardamom, creating a perfectly balanced blend. The half pot was clearly intended for more than one diner, but this did not stop me from refilling my little cup over and over again.

Marie Catrib’s is comfort food with a creative exotic twist. I definitely plan to come back to try out her falafel or her ancho lentil tacos or perhaps her marinated portabella mushrooms and onions on grilled challah bread. And perhaps next time I will treat myself to one of her wonderful looking pastries. I am definitely getting another half pot of Turkish coffee and nursing it in the corner. Y’all can get your own.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Bartertown Diner

Bartertown Diner
6 Jefferson Ave SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49503
QISA (3.5, 4, 4, 3.5), $7-12, Vegan

A vegan, community-focused, breakfast and lunch joint like Bartertown Diner could only exist in a small liberal college town. San Francisco, New York, or Chicago? They are way too trendy and metropolitan for anything this grass roots. South Bend or Terre Haute, Indiana? Way to blue collar, and slightly too red. Bloomington, Indiana? Possibly. Maybe.

But it is Grand Rapids, the second largest city in Michigan, a city of 192,294 people nearly evenly divided between Democratic and Republican voters, a city where the largest college is Grand Rapids Community College (student population 32,000), that supports this unique establishment. In fact, it is Grand Rapids with its beautiful three dimensional murals gracing the side of buildings downtown, visual and performing art institutions, and variety of locally-owned, locally sourced restaurants that is the perfect place for Bartertown.

Bartertown Diner advertises its mission as serving, “delicious affordable food that increases the overall well-being of our health, our community, and our planet.” They use locally sourced and seasonal ingredients whenever possible. They sell Sonder Farms organic produce in the corner of the restaurant like a micro-farmer’s market. They also give much lip service and ink to paying their wait staff a fair living wage and advertise themselves as a “no tip restaurant." Instead of leaving a tip, they encourage patrons to purchase $2 taco or $5 food bowl coupons that can be used by ANYONE who walks in the door. These coupons are posted on a large bulletin board near the door, and are used every day by college kids, homeless people, or whoever else needs a free meal. It’s a great way to provide judgement-free food to the community while encouraging vegan eating.

The food itself is quite good, not fantastic, but still very good. I ordered the jalapeno lentil burger, topped with cilantro aioli, spinach, thick slices of tomato, thin slices of jalapenos, and their house mustard. The patty was a soft puree rather than a chewy burger. It was moderately spicy with a lot of flavor. I liked the taste, but I personally think it could have used a grain to give it more crunch or chewiness.

The Fox Force Five smoothie contained almond milk, banana, peanut butter, cacao, and chia seeds. It was blended smooth with only a slight graininess, and the flavor was balanced nicely without being too sweet. I could almost feel the antioxidants and omega-3 fatty acids turning me into a better version of myself.

I treated myself to a dense, cakey cinnamon-sugar coated donut. If you are looking for baked vegan pastries, you could do a lot worse.

In fact, you could do a lot worse than the Bartertown Diner. I recommend it for its mission of healthy, locally-sourced vegan food, its tasty meals, and its devotion to the community. I even purchased a $5 food bowl coupon and proudly taped it to the bulletin board. Hopefully, some young student at the Grand Rapids Community College will make good use of it.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Om Cafe

Om Cafe
23136 Woodward Ave, Ferndale, MI 48220
Vegetarian (Vegan Friendly)
QISA (4, 4, 3.5, 3.5), $11-14, Vegetarian (Vegan-Friendly)

It was a cold, wet, snowy day when I stumbled into the Om Cafe.

Wow. That last sentence reads like Robert Frost smoking pot with the crew of the Firesign Theater. Kids, go ask your parents. I’ll wait.

Perhaps, I should start again.

The Om Cafe is a 31-year old family affair, started way back in 1985 by a Colleen Smiley. The restaurant’s Website describes Colleen as a woman who was “waging a war of vegetables against meat, antibiotics, growth hormones and processed food.” Passed on to her eldest son Jason Smiley, and then eventually passed on to Jessica Norwood, a woman, “whose parents had been bringing her to the Om Cafe she she was three years old,” this hippie hideaway is obviously a labor of love.

Any epicurean establishment started as a political movement runs the risk of being a relic, a testament to a by-gone era. I’ve seen this time and time again, typically with old natural food co-ops that never learned to keep up with the Trader Joe’s, Wild Oats, or Whole Foods phenomenon. I’ve seen it with old vegan lunch spots that never learned how to marry flavor with fervor and that simply crank out food that tastes raw, earthy, and unrefined. Frankly, I was surprised to find out the Om Cafe was as old as it was; it felt like a new entrant into the vegetarian food market.

The interior of the small restaurant was decorated with strikingly colorful paintings by SooMee Lee, a local artist with her own expressionistic style. The alt rock music over the loudspeaker made me think of a particularly trippy Pink Floyd album with violins added in, but in a good way. Needless to say, the restaurant was creating its own modernistic style that leaned toward “in your face” but then fell back toward its own aesthetic groove.

I’d even be willing to go out on a limb and guess that back in 1985, there was a lot more paisley and sitar music, and a lot less trippy modern aesthetic groove with violins. But that’s just a guess.

Even the food has its own artistic flair. I ordered the El Mexicano, a big plate of loaded nachos, which was a crazy flavor mix of beans, black olives, kalamata olives, baked tofu wedges, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, avocado, jalapeno slides, and onion. It was a group think of spicy, salty, chunky, crunchy, and meaty, all vying for the attention of your tastebuds. It was as if the color palate on the walls was bleeding into the food. But in a good way.

The meal was also my first experience with kukicha tea, a tea composed of stems, stalks, and twigs, giving it an earthy, toasty, and slight carob flavor. The tea was served with a slice of lemon, which added even more flavors to the taste palate. The fact that I got free refills didn’t hurt either.

The menu is not very large, but I have to give them points for originality. The loaded vegan mac, for example, adds kale and tofu to the noodles and mac sauce and tops the entire dish with crushed peanuts, cilantro, and lime. It’s macaroni and cheese meets pad thai. The General Tso Dinner is a mix of sauteed broccoli, cremini mushrooms, diced organic tofu, organic brown rice, and black sesame seeds, all covered with their house made sauce of ginger, tamari, and sesame oil. And bottles of tamari and sriracha join the salt and pepper as standard table condiments.

My only complaint was that at times, the restaurant felt a little too much like an art gallery. The waiter, for example, seemed a bit stand-offish and perfunctory in his duties until I asked him questions about the tea. Only then did he engage me in more than the basic level of human interaction.

Maybe this is what happens with any local family restaurant when one’s clientele becomes so local that the restaurant forgets to reach out to the strangers, the travelers, the new vegetarians, or the casual explorers. If so, this just won’t do. Not if they expect to last another 31 years.

Of course by then, a whole new generation will be in charge of the restaurant, and the style will shift again to match the times. The artwork will be neo-socialist retro steampunk and the menu will be inspired by farm-to-table pan-African-fusion cuisine.

I don’t know. Don’t ask me. I’m sure I will need my grandkids to explain it all to me over a shared plate of loaded nachos.